You Finally Say Help. What Now?
Last week I wrote about that most difficult four-letter word: help. I went on and on about false ideologies of perfection and a call to action to be brave and finally ask for help. Admitting that you can’t (and no one should) do it all alone. I loudly yelled that calling for help, is a level of vulnerability that only the most elite could have. I spoke for action to be brave, have courage, ask for help.
Ok, you’re ready, you did it, you finally said, “HELP,” what happens now?
I got you.
I’m proud of you. But more importantly, you should be proud of you.
What to say to your Support System?
I can only hope that by saying ‘help’ to a loved one, a friend, a peer, a spouse, that they listened. That they heard your cry, that they saw your courage. If they did, I have optimism that they follow through and ease your burdens, lighten your load.
If you are one of the very lucky ones to have a support system, asking for help in a clear way can yield the best results. Saying something like, “Since having the baby, it’s been really hard to get a healthy cooked meal ready, is it possible for you to help by cooking a healthy meal for us once a week?” Telling your support system exactly what you need is the best way to guide them, and it removes any assumptions and/or disappointments.
Most people love to help, they love to feel needed, as selfless as an act helping can be, the motives are truly selfish. A surge of endorphins is released when we help, there is an increase in self-esteem, an increase in self-worth, we feel good when we help. Wouldn’t you want to give that gift to a loved one, a friend, a peer, a spouse?
Don’t have a Support System?
Now, unfortunately there are many who don’t have that easily accessible support system. The luxury of calling a friend, or a loved one isn’t there. There may be a spouse, but there is minimal connection, being vulnerable does not feel safe. Although you may be finally ready to say that most difficult four-letter word- help- you don’t even know who to begin to say it to.
I got you.
Therapy can help. Reaching out to a therapist can be the next courageous and crucial step you make. Now, I will warn you, many therapists are unable to keep up with the high influx of calls they receive, so I don’t want you to develop even more hopelessness and feel discouraged if the first few you reach out don’t answer the phone, or they don’t seem like a good fit. Keep trying.
(**Disclaimer: I will always return any calls within 24 hours at most, and I try my hardest to answer the phone calls when they come- I know how hard making a call to a therapist can be, so I try to honor that the best I can)
Once you find the right therapist, go to your initial appointment, I know it seems scary and daunting, uncomfortable and new, but you’ve made it this far, you might as well reap the benefits. The first session can be tough, I want you to be prepared, but the feeling of releasing all of those pent-up thoughts and feelings, oh it can feel so rewarding. Imagine unloading all your worries and fears in a safe, comfortable space and to someone who is trained to help. You can do it.
Therapy Can Help.
Therapy can help. With the tools of a therapist, you can move from helpless, overburdened, hopeless (and everything in between) to empowered and ready.
I am excited for you, for the new path you will take, whether it be starting to ask for help directly to friends and family or the freedom that comes with starting your therapy journey. A path that started by finally having the courage to say, ‘help’.
To schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation please call Sunshine for the Soul Counseling, LLC at 561-440-2487. If you are in the area of Wellington, FL, I can see you in-person or virtually. Within the greater state of Florida, I can work with you virtually.
